Following jokes are dedicated to sweet memons and for their sweet smiles....

Cheers,

Faisal Memon :)

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Memon: Yeh Kaila(Banana) Kaisay Diya?

Shopkeeper: 1rs.

Memon: 60 Paisa Ka Deta Hai?

S.K: 60 Paise Mein To Sirf Chilka Milega.

Memon: Ley 40 Paisay Chilka Rakh Aur Kela Day De

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Teacher: jo ander aaney k liye sab sey chota sentence bolega, usey gift milega.

English child: May i come in?

Urdu child: Main ander askta hoon?

Memon child: Achaan?

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A girl speaks to a boy....

Girl: O bhai jaan please rasta do...!

Boy: Tum larkiyan itna confuse kyun karti ho??

       Ya to BHAI bolo ya JAAN  bolo....!

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Ek Memon Ko Jin Charh Gaya

3 Din Baad

Jin Khud Aalim Ke Paas Gaya Aur

Bola:

Aalim Sahab!

MUjhe Bahar Nikalo

Mein To Bhooka Hee Mar Jaonga

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Memon Ko Current Laga…

Begum Ne Poocha:

Kuch Howa To Nahi..?

Memon Bola:

Mujhe Chorr

Bahir Jaa Kar Deakh

“UNIT” Kitne Gire Hai.

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Memon At Petrol Pump:

Bhai aadha liter Ka Petrol Dal Do.

Salesman:

Bhai Itna Sara Petrol

Dalva K Kahan Jana Hai?

Memon:

Jana Kahan Hai

Hm To Aise Hi Paise Urate Hen…

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A Memon On His Death Time.

My Wife, Where R U ?

Wife:

Yes, I’m Here

My Sons & Daughters

Ru All Here?

Yes, Papa

Memon:

To Phir Brabar Wale Kamre

Ka Pankha Q Khula Hay ???

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Na ya CHAND hoga na TARAY hongy,

Kiya hum hamesha "KANWARAY" hongy 

Is duniya ma kitno k NIKAH ho gay....

Kiya naseeb ma humare sirf "NIKAH K CHUNWARY" hongy

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Bhool kar bhi kisi ko na rulana,

Zindagi ma sabko hasana,

Dushman ko bhe galy lagana,

Phir bhe koi ghum day to 0900 78601 pa phone lagana

"TAPKA DENGE SALAY KO"

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A Hero with Heroin on Chat

Any of you who had difficulty understanding Thread Deadlocks.
This is for you….

Boss says to Secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.

Secretary makes call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband makes call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.

Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Let's spend the week together.

Grandpa (the 1st boss) makes call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.

Secretary makes call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband makes call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together; my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tuition: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.

Grandpa makes call to his secretary: Don't worry this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement.

!!!!!!!!!!!! !
This IS called deadlock. Can't open .

 :)

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'. 

Editor: 'Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? '
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said:

'We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.

My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
 

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'.

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.

This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you  crazy?' ..

She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'.' 

Husband:'That's it. We are happy ever after. '

aik fakir bus stop  pay kharay howay admi say.....

bhai ALLAH kay naam pay do ropay day do rooti khaonga....

Admi tamater khaoo.....

fakir us kay paas kharay howay admi say khayta hay bhai aajeeb admi hay

main khayraha hon roti khani hay do ropay day do yah kahyraha hay itni mayhanggayi kay dor main tamater khaoo.......

dosra admi........bhai fakir yah aadmi totla hay aur tum ko khayraha hay kama kr khaoo

Wife T.V per cricket match daikh rahi thi.Husband smart aur bun than k aya or bola "JANU MAIN KESA LAG RAHA HUN?
Tabhi wife zor se chillayi.,"CHAKKA"

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?…. It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins

Sardar to Girlfriend= main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche…

Wats da height of hope?
sittin in da exam hall, holdin da questn paper in hand n teln urslf
"dude, don worry. Exams wil gt postpond"All d best:)

Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

• Santa: Oye, tera vyah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan
Santa: Kudi naal.
Banta: Oye, munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan, meri sister da hoya si.

• Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Aray naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai

• In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

• Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

• In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

• Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For u n ur parents

• Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

• Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.

• Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

• Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

• Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

• Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

• Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more

Here is a sample of some STUPID questions asked by ppl;)

Here the Questions ::

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed
high-heeled shoes steps on (Not Applicable in Pakistan) your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter...
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit on it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big!!
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron !!

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke ?

Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ............ it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

 A Sardarji, a Danish  and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment.

The Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has aske me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

1.  The Danish was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only; lasted 10 lashes & the Danish had to be carried away bleeding & crying with pain.2.  The Sardarji was next up. After watching the Danish in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Sardarji was also led away whimpering loudly.

3. The Pakistani was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your highness," Pakistani replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik aasked. Pakistani smiled and said, "Tie the Danish to my back" 

Sardar was riding on horse.

He jumped the Red light and policeman whistles.

The Sardar lifts the tail of horse and says,

“ LE KARLAY, KARLAY NUMBER NOTE”.  J