- SOCIALISM - You have two cows. The government nationalizes both cows but still allows you to sell milk.
- COMMUNISM - You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
- FASCISM - You have two cows. The government takes one away and presses it into military service.
- NAZISM - You have two cows. The government takes one away and shoots it for having a large nose and dark spots.
- TRIBALISM - You have two cows. Your neighbors take both cows and shoot you.
- REDISTRIBUTIONISM - You have two cows. Everyone should have the same amount of cow. The government takes both cows, cuts them up, and spends more than the cows are worth giving everyone a little piece of cow.
- WELFAREISM (REDISTRIBUTIONISM REVISITED) - You have two cows. The government takes one to give to someone else who doesn't know how to milk it.
- BUREAUCRACY - You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm in Puerto Rico and forgets to milk the other.
- LIBERTARIANISM - You have two cows. You let them do what they want.
- CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
- REAGANOMICS - You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull. You take out a huge loan on the cow, and ignore both the cow and the loan from that point on. Then, you try to milk the bull and blame the Japanese for its lack of production.
- CONSERVATISM - You have two cows. They pray in school every day.
- LIBERALISM - You have two cows. You don't worry that they sleep together.
- PROTECTIONISM - You have two cows. You can't buy a bull from another country.
- PEROTISM - You have two cows. You aren't allowed to sell the milk to Mexicans.
- HILLARYISM - You have two cows. Everyone should have a cow from the government, even if they don't want a cow.
- CLINTONISM - You have two cows. The president can't decide what he wants to do about it.