Sat 29 Apr 2006

 A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.... On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No" replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"   "No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.  

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone... 

 

Tags:
E-mail this post to someone or Comments (2)
Fri 28 Apr 2006

A marvelous answer
        
        Take a look at this marvelous answer:
        A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when
        he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was  standing off
        to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at
        his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!
Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit
surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up,
wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at
this. I also open hearts,  take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts,
and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get
the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? " The
doctor leaned over =nd whispered to the mechanic ..... What  did he say ???

       
        Guess ......
       
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
        ...
       
        He said : "Try to do it when the engine is running".
 

Categories : Thoughts / Lessons
E-mail this post to someone or Comments (2)
Tue 7 Mar 2006


For the past several months, news have been appearing about the spread of highly pathogenic (infectious) H5N1 avian influenza virus in wild or
domestic birds in countries in Africa, Asia, Europe, and the Middle East. Recently a similar virus has been suspected in the poultry farms in Northern Pakistan.

  Although H5N1 virus is highly infectious among poultry, it is not easily transmissible to humans. Since December 2003, the virus is known to have
infected 173 people, of whom 93 have died. Not one of these cases has been linked to the consumption of properly cooked poultry or poultry products.

  The World Health Organization reconfirms that, when poultry products are safely handled and properly cooked, humans are not at risk of  acquiring
H5N1 infection through food consumption.

  The main health risk currently is to people who are in close contact with infected poultry, such as families with backyard flocks and poultry workers in wet markets or live animal markets.

  We are investigating further into the matter but in the meantime following precautions must be taken at all Eni Pakistan locations,

  * Eggs should not be consumed raw or partially cooked. Raw eggs should not be used in foods that will not be treated by heat high enough to kill the virus (70 Degrees C)

* No live chickens neither raw poultry should be handled at any Eni Pakistan location. Properly packaged or frozen poultry meat should be delivered at all locations.

* The packaged or frozen poultry meat should also be cooked up to 70 Degrees C. All parts of the poultry should be fully cooked (no "pink" parts and no "runny" yolks)

* Persons involved in food preparation should wash their hands thoroughly and clean and disinfect surfaces in contact with the poultry products.

* Soap and hot water are sufficient for this purpose. Same precaution must be taken while handling poultry stored under refrigeration.

 

E-mail this post to someone or Comments (1)
Sat 25 Feb 2006
10 Ways to Poison Your Career:

It takes anywhere from three to 15 months to find the right job -- yet just days or weeks to lose it. Here are 10 traits that are career poison:

1. Possessing Poor People Skills
A little likeability can go a long way. Studies by both the Harvard Business Review and Fast Company magazine show that people consistently and overwhelmingly prefer to work with likeable, less-skilled co-workers than with highly competent jerks. Researchers found that if employees are disliked, it's almost irrelevant whether they're good at what they do, because other workers will avoid them.

2. Not Being a Team Player
No one feels comfortable around a prima donna. And organizations have ways of dealing with employees who subvert the team. Just ask Philadelphia Eagles Wide Receiver Terrell Owens, who was suspended for the 2005 season after repeatedly clashing with and taking public shots at his teammates and management. Show you're a team player by making your boss look like a star and demonstrating that you've got the greater good of the organization at heart.

3. Missing Deadlines
If the deadline is Wednesday, first thing Thursday won't cut it. Organizations need people they can depend on. Missing deadlines is not only unprofessional, it can also play havoc with others' schedules and make your boss look bad. When making commitments, it's best to under-promise and over-deliver. Then, pull an all-nighter if you have to. It's that important.

4. Conducting Personal Business on Company Time
The company e-mail and phone systems are for company business. Keep personal phone calls brief and few -- and never take a call that will require a box of tissues to get through. Also, never type anything in an e-mail that you don't want read by your boss; many systems save deleted messages to a master file. And we can't tell you how many poor souls have gotten fired for hitting the "Reply All" button and disseminating off-color jokes -- or worse yet -- rants about their boss for all to see.

5. Isolating Yourself
Don't isolate yourself. Develop and use relationships with others in your company and profession. Those who network effectively have an inside track on resources and informationm, and can more quickly cut through organizational politics. Research shows effective networkers tend to serve on more successful teams, get better performance reviews, receive more promotions and be more highly compensated.

6. Starting an Office Romance
Unless you're in separate locations, office romances are a bad idea. If you become involved with your boss, your accomplishments and promotions will be suspect; if you date a subordinate, you leave yourself open to charges of sexual harassment. And if it ends badly, you're at risk of everyone knowing about it and witnessing the unpleasantness.

7. Fearing Risk or Failure
If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. Have a can-do attitude and take risks. Instead of saying, "I've never done that," say, "I'll learn how." Don't be afraid to fail or make mistakes. If you do mess up, admit it and move on. Above all, find the learning opportunities in every situation. Remember, over time, risk-aversion can be more hazardous to your career than error.

8. Having No Goals
Failure doesn't lie in not reaching your goal, but in not having a goal to reach. Set objectives and plan your daily activities around achieving them. Eighty percent of your effectiveness comes from 20 percent of your activities. Manage your priorities and focus on those tasks that support your goals.

9. Neglecting Your Image
Fair or not, appearance counts. People draw all kinds of conclusions from the way you present yourself. So don't come to work poorly groomed or in inappropriate attire. Be honest, use proper grammar and avoid slang and expletives. You want to project an image of competence, character and commitment.

10. Being Indiscreet
Cubicles, hallways, elevators, bathrooms -- even commuter trains -- are not your private domain. Be careful where you hold conversations and what you say to whom. Don't tell off-color jokes, reveal company secrets, gossip about co-workers or espouse your views on race, religion or the boss' personality. Because while there is such a thing as free speech, it's not so free if it costs you your job!
 

This article was originally written by Kate Lorenz .

Categories : Knowledge / Amazing
E-mail this post to someone or Comments (3)
Tue 21 Feb 2006

There are many reasons why good employees quit, most are preventable.  I've identified a "Top Ten" list of reasons why people leave jobs:
 
1. Management demands that one person do the jobs of two or more people, resulting in longer days and weekend work.
 
2. Management cuts back on administrative help, forcing professional workers to use their time copying, stapling, collating, filing and other clerical duties.
 
3. Management puts a freeze on raises and promotions, when an employee can easily find a job earning 20-30 percent more somewhere else.
 
4. Management doesn't allow the rank and file to make decisions or allow them pride of ownership. A visitor to my website e-mailed me a message that said, "Forget about the "professional" decisions - how about when you can't even select the company's holiday card without the President rejecting it for one of his own taste?"
 
5. Management constantly reorganizes, shuffles people around, and changes direction constantly.
 
6. Management doesn't have or take the time to clarify goals and decisions. Therefore, it rejects work after it was completed, damaging the morale and esteem of those who prepared it.
 
7. Management shows favoritism and gives some workers better offices, trips to conferences, etc.
 
8. Management relocates the offices to another location, forcing employees to quit or double their commute.
 
9. Management promotes someone who lacks training and/or necessary experience to supervisor, alienating staff and driving away good employees.
 
10. Management creates a rigid structure and then allows departments to compete against each other while at the same time preaching teamwork and cooperation.
 
Interesting, isn't it, that all ten factors begin with the phrase "Management…."
 
Interesting, too, just how many of these high-turnover factors are preventable? My retention survey confirmed the truth of the saying,
 
"Employees don't quit their companies, they quit their bosses." Thirty five percent of the respondents answered yes to the question, Was the attitude of your direct supervisor/manager the primary factor in your quitting a previous job?
 
Soft management skills-people skills - are the critical element in battling high turnover and creating a high-retention workforce or what I call, "retentionship."
 
 
By  Gregory P. Smith

Lucy Doss

Categories : Knowledge / Amazing
E-mail this post to someone or Comments here
Tue 31 Jan 2006

  

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.


Ready?

GO!!! (Scroll down)




First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?





Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!




Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.





Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?





Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!



You're not very good at this! Are you?





Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.





Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?



Scroll down for answer...


Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.




Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is
definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?


Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?





Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again




Okay, now the bonus round . . .




There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper
and the purchase is done.


Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
>

>
>
>
>
>

>
>
>
>He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

Tags: ,
Categories : Knowledge / Amazing
E-mail this post to someone or Comments (2)
Thu 5 Jan 2006

Shaadi ki Dastaan

Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,
ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,
wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main
phirana, muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,
jaldi se ready ho jao,
aap ko office bhi hai jana.

gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,
dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,
saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,
ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.



*5 saal baad........*



subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
table par rakh kar jor se chilana,
aaj office jao to munna ko school chodte hue jana..............

ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,
kya baat hai abhi tak chorri nahi charpai,
agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.

na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,
sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,
har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,
kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,
hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge.

E-mail this post to someone or Comments (2)