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all here is just for your sweet laugh ....accept apology and let me know if any become out of ethics, thanks.
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 Wife T.V per cricket match daikh rahi thi.Husband smart aur bun than k aya or bola "JANU
MAIN KESA LAG RAHA HUN?
Tabhi wife zor se chillayi.,"CHAKKA"


Sardar to Girlfriend= main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche
Wats da height of hope? sittin in da exam hall, holdin da questn paper in hand n teln urslf "dude, don worry. Exams wil gt postpond"All d best:)
Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Sam : Brotherly love.
Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : ok, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no.
Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
koi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai :-)
aik fakir bus stop pay kharay howay admi say..... bhai ALLAH kay naam pay do ropay day do rooti khaonga.... Admi tamater khaoo..... fakir us kay paas kharay howay admi say khayta hay bhai aajeeb admi hay main khayraha hon roti khani hay do ropay day do yah kahyraha hay itni mayhanggayi kay dor main tamater khaoo....... dosra admi........bhai fakir yah aadmi totla hay aur tum ko khayraha hay kama kr khaoo
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?. It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins
Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!
Once a Sardar ji rescued 6 people from a house burning on fire; But still the Sardar ji was jailed, why? Because all the rescued persons were fire fighters
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
Burhiya: Aray dekho iss kambakhat maare ko mere sath larki ja rahi he osse nahi dekh raha kab se mujhe taare chala ja ria he...! Aadmi:Aray.. ! amma darasal ye kabaria he purana maal dekh raha he.
Gabbar: Kitne admi they? Sambha: Sardar 2 Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain? Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle? Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai. Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai? Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata> Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate? Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai. Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai? Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai. Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai? Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do
GABBAR: "Kittnay bugs thay"? KALIA: "Do sarkaar" GABBAR: "Woh do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhee fix nahin kar sake? Kya soch kay aaye ho? Gabbar bahut khuhs hoga? Naya assignment dega, kyoon? Iski saja milegi.. Barobbar milegi" [ Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa ] "Kitne sessions hain, is machine mein?" Sambaa: Chhey Sarkaar. GABBAR: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naa-insaafi hai. [logout.. logout... logout....] Haan.. ab theek hai... Ab tera kyaa hoga kaalia?" KAALIA: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha, sarkar?" GABBAR: " To ab documentation likh !!!" -----------------[LOGOUT... LOGOUT.. LOGOUT...]------------------ Connection Disconnected. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.. ha ha ha ha ha... hahahahahahaha (Gabbar Style)
Fastest Thing In The World..... Four guys, one from Harvard, 2nd from Yale, 3rd from MIT university and 4th SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them. INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD? YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind. MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"? SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!
Hidden Cameras Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'. How does he know that?"
PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. fine and 3rd time 500. MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu.
Two Strangers were traveling by same plan. After getting their seats , one said to other ..... First : Hello ,you are looking tired. second : Hi , yes I am tired . 1st : Are you from China ? 2nd : (Answering with smile ) No . 1st: (After some time ) Do u like Chinese rice ? 2nd : (passing a smile ) No . 1st : Strange, isn't it ? 2nd :Strange what ? 1st : A Chinese does not like Chinese rice . 2nd :My friend I am not Chinese. 1st : Ops, sorry . 1st: (After some time ) Is ur father from China ? 2nd: No No 1st : Mom ? 2nd: Neither she nor I . Will u plz be quite ? 1st : As u wish . 1st : (After some time ) what does "Ching choung chung " means ? 2nd :I don't know Chinese. I don't.. 1st : Strange isn't it ? 2nd : Now strange what ? 1st : A Chinese doesn't know his language. Is it not strange ? 2nd : HEY You (shouting) I am not from china . 1st : Then from where you are ? 2nd : My father told me ,not to talk with strangers. 1st: Okay ,now relax. It's okay, relax. (After some time ) 1st : Nice hair cut . 2nd : (Looking with anger at first ) 1st : Oh ! I see Japanese . 2nd: Will you shut up ? 1st :Okay ,now relax. It's okay, relax. (After some time ) 1st : Have you met Jacky chun ? 2nd :(Shouting) What a dump,silly,and stupid thing to say also idiot and ridiculous more then hideous. What do u want ? 1st: I just ........I just ......... 2nd : (Interrupting) I am Chinese, my father is Chinese, my mother is Chinese, my neighours,my friends, all are Chinese . even my forefathers were Chinese. Now tell me what do you want ? 1st : Are you Chinese ? 2nd : Yes , I am . (The whole staff and passengers of plan were looking at them ) 1st : Oh ! you are .. 2nd : Yes ,Yes , Yes 1st : But you don't look like Chinese . :(
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his... 4th wife..... baby doll 3rd wife.....china doll 2nd wife.....barbie doll 1st wife..... panadol !
Driver: Ma'am you have to give me Rupees 80/- as your taxi fare. Passenger: Take this 80/- Rupees. And 50/-paise more as your tip. Driver: Ma'am you are insulting me by giving 50 paise as tip. You should atleast give me 50 paise more. Passenger: I don't want to insult you twice.
21st Century... Our communication - Wireless Our telephone - Cordless Our youth - Jobless Our food - Fatless Our labour - Effortless Our cooking - Fireless Our conduct - Worthless Our boss - Brainless Our relation - Loveless Our dress - Topless Our attitude - Careless Our feelings - Heartless Our politics - Shameless Our education - Valueless Our follies - Countless Our arguments - Baseless Our Job - Thankless and Our Salary - Very less ?
I have to have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies after me." "Oh is that so?" asked the confused manager. "What other companies are after you?" "The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
Santa: Oye, tera vyah ho gaya? Banta: Haan Santa: Kudi naal. Banta: Oye, munde naal v hunda hai kya? Santa: Haan, meri sister da hoya si.
Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna. Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Aray naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr..... Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Girl: Will u marry me? Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
HER DIARY Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes he came. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. HIS DIARY Today PAKISTAN lost. DAMN IT.
In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon. Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3? Santa: For u n ur parents
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si? Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich. Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai? Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho? Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women. When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words. Banta Singh : Ok Interviewer : Made in India Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down Interviewer : Maxi Mum Banta Singh : Mini Dad Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat Interviewer : I say you get out! Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in Interviewer : I reject you! Banta Singh : You Appoint me Interviewer : ....!!!
Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
1980's : girl : mama can i wear jeans? mama : na beta, log kia kahain gain. 2006's girl : mana can i wear mini skirt? mama : pehan meri bachi, kuch to pehan.
Banta per pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? Banta: Apple khane. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai. Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: "Exide" laga du? Santa: Kyun, Dusri side tera baap lagayega?
Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY. Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, parhnewala gadha. Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, parhnewala mahan
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad. His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!" "Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO .Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button." "Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS. Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'!"
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar-why r all these people running? Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?



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